Hello. It’s me.

I have a dear friend, my first partner...the first man I was ever blessed to be in love with, and the first man I ever hurt to his core. We have, together, over the years been able to salvage from the wreckage and repair our relationship to where now it is strong, and solid, and with mutual respect and admiration. We have healed.

Awareness vs. Fixation

The difference between awareness and fixation is that fixation leads to regret, depression, anxiety, worry and dis-ease. Awareness leads to acceptance, planning, right action and compassion. Know when you’re aware of something, give it the amount of attention it requires and no more…anything more can and will often lead to fixation. Simple when you think …

Andy

Twice a week, I hang out with ex-convicts, recovering addicts, former prostitutes, homeless men and women, and the occasional drag queen. I lead two support groups at a center in Greensboro. Monday is a meditation and mindfulness group, open to HIV positive men and women. Thursday group is for HIV positive men. If I'm having a bad day, I go check in with these friends and get a sweet, gentle dose of "the real-real world". The real-real world is so much better, so much more immediate and so much more real than anything I'd ever see on Facebook, or on television. You can't make this shit up. It's too real for reality t.v., and it's more compassionate, gorgeous and messy.

Walking My Talk.

In The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, the first agreement is Be Impeccable with Your Word. Words have power. They have magic in creating new ideas, setting goals, new standards, and showing ourselves and others how accountable we are. Words also have the power to wound, destroy confidence, and destroy trust and accountability. As …

It’s Coming On Christmas.

I love this song. There are other Christmas songs I love, and I've noticed the ones I am drawn to are infused with a sense of longing and acceptance, of joy and sadness in equal parts. It's my way. From the time I was small, there seemed to be a sense of abundance with the giving and shopping, mixed with a sense of poverty and the acknowledgment that there are those for whom the holiday is a mixed bag of coal and candy canes.

How Do I Get You Alone?

I like being alone. I am a "Unicorn Ambivert"...I enjoy gathering with friends, occasional humorous banter with another person in the grocery check out line, and times when I am outgoing, and there are more often times when I must unplug, disengage, detoxify and be completely by myself.